My Computer Ate My Homework 3, Dolce far niente

 

 
Computer Graphic Painting, 2001, door Alexander Peverett

 

The Internet from A to Z

A is for Actually,
And that mansplaining tone;
B is the Block button —
They can mansplain alone.

C is for Clickbait
And things you won’t believe in;
D is for the dogs
And the cats who can’t even.

E is for your emails
Stacked 8,000 tall.
F is for “Fuck it!
I’m deleting them all!”

G is for Gamergaters,
May they fall off a cliff;
H is for Hard G
(That’s the sound that starts “GIF.”)

I is for IRL,
And a nice, real-life chat;
J is for JK,
Because who wants to do that?

K is for killing it,
Which all startups do.
L is for losing money
(They do a lot of that, too).

M is for monocles
Tiaras, and deviled eggs.
N is for Normcore:
Now THAT’S a fake trend with legs.

O is for #OBAMA,
And #BENGHAZI, and #MICHAELMOORE,
P is for pointing out
What the Caps Lock is for.

Q is for quitting
Your time-wasting apps.
R is for your inevitable
And shame-filled Relapse.

S is for Snapchat
And the unpleasant dick pics,
T is for Tinder
And when you unpleasantly pick dicks.

U is for Uber,
And its attempts to make nice;
V is for Vox
(CORRECTION: It’s for Vice).

W is for Wow,
Or Whoa, or WTF,
(It’s what you say about a longread
You haven’t read yet.)

X is for XD,
And ¯_(ツ)_/¯, and all good emoji,
Y is for Yo
As in “Please never Yo me.”

Z is for zero,
The fucks you should give
When facing your critics:
”I was feeling my look! Can I live?!?!”

That was the Internet
From A until Z.
And if you disagree
Well, that’s fine with me:
Just lay off the Caps Lock,
And hit me with your best block,

And for my sake,
And your sake,

Let’s let each other be.

 

 
Jason O. Gilbert
Gilberts profielfoto op Twitter

 

Het werk van de humoristische schrijver Jason O. Gilbert verscheen in The New York Times, McSweeney’s, Slate, GQ, Esquire, Above Average, Paste etc.. Hij heeft ook gewerkt als journalist voor The Huffington Post en als badmeester voor veel zwembaden in Georgië. Hij woont in Brooklyn.

 

De Engelse dichter Alfred, Lord Tennyson werd geboren op 6 augustus 1809 in Somersby, Lincolnshire, England. Zie ook alle tags voor Alfred Tennyson op dit blog.

 

A Farewell

Flow down, cold rivulet, to the sea,
Thy tribute wave deliver:
No more by thee my steps shall be,
For ever and for ever.

Flow, softly flow, by lawn and lea,
A rivulet then a river:
Nowhere by thee my steps shall be
For ever and for ever.

But here will sigh thine alder tree
And here thine aspen shiver;
And here by thee will hum the bee,
For ever and for ever.

A thousand suns will stream on thee,
A thousand moons will quiver;
But not by thee my steps shall be,
For ever and for ever.

 

In The Garden At Swainston

Nightingales warbled without,
Within was weeping for thee:
Shadows of three dead men
Walk’d in the walks with me:
Shadows of three dead men, and thou wast one of the three.

Nightingales sang in the woods:
The Master was far away:
Nightingales warbled and sang
Of a passion that lasts but a day;
Still in the house in his coffin the Prince of courtesy lay.

Two dead men have I known
In courtesy like to thee:
Two dead men have I loved
With a love that ever will be:
Three dead men have I loved, and thou art last of the three.

 

Requiescat

Fair is her cottage in its place,
Where yon broad water sweetly slowly glides.
It sees itself from thatch to base
Dream in the sliding tides.

And fairer she, but ah how soon to die!
Her quiet dream of life this hour may cease.
Her peaceful being slowly passes by
To some more perfect peace.

 

 
Alfred Tennyson (6 augustus 1809 – 6 oktober 1892) 
Cover

 

Zie voor de schrijvers van de 6^e augustus ook mijn blog van 6 augustus 2015 en ook mijn blog van 6 augustus 2011 deel 1 en eveneens deel 2 en ook deel 3.