Sky Gilbert, Kenneth Rexroth

De Canadese dichter, schrijver en acteur Sky Gilbert werd geboren op 20 december 1952 Norwich, Connecticut. Zie ook alle tags voor Sky Gilbert op dit blog.

Uit: I, Gloria Grahame

“I, Gloria Grahame. It is certainly with a sense of some guilt that I write that. Or not guilt. Let’s just say that it seems a kind of false freedom, because I am not. I can only be her for a short while, while pen is put to paper, or perhaps I should say more accurately, finger to keyboard — when I am writing whatever this is. (I don’t call it anything, not even a diary or a journal, that would be too presumptuous.) She is certainly not me, and I have no relationship with her other than the fact that I do imagine I am this particular storied Hollywood film noir star, and I write as if I were her occasionally. But no one sees that writing. If you are reading this it is probably because I have been arrested finally or put to death. Good riddance, as they say. But all I do is fantasize that I’m Gloria Grahame. I am not her. I’m a very different person from her, and it’s being completely honest to tell you that.
How do I begin to describe myself?
I have always been not very manly and somewhat invisible. Now that I am of a certain age, I wear hats and scarves, even in summer, and they serve to cover me somewhat, as I do not wish to be noticed. In fact, I wish to disappear; that is, short of dying. Why? It has basically become a little too much trouble to be alive. I think everyone reaches a point where that becomes the case and then they just die, one way or the other. That’s my terribly depressing theory. It isn’t that we outlive our usefulness or that nobody loves us, it’s just that it finally isn’t worth it anymore, the struggle. Anyway, first of all, or perhaps most of all, there is my voice. Have you ever heard Truman Capote’s voice? You might google it, and if you do, you will discover that even for the most dedicated homophile it is just a little too much. I can’t help it; I was born this way, to quote the great Gaga. When I open my mouth I betray myself. And yes, I always sashay a little bit, and there are mannerisms. But it is not a case of choosing to act this way; let me make that perfectly clear. If I had my way I would be someone else, I would be John Wayne, particularly the way he looked when he was young. (Did you know his real name was Marion?) Yes, I would prefer to be effortlessly masculine, which is the way I describe the type of man I am often attracted to. This makes me hopeless in a Quentin Crisp sort of way. I lust after the type of young man who would not be caught dead in public with me, which makes my case tragic, except of course for what you can get up to in private. But I pretty much don’t bother with that anymore, either. So I have become this haunted thing, or rather this thing that would wish to be haunted or hunted, or something, but what I am really is just the type of person who makes people feel uncomfortable and who they would like more than anything to ignore.”

 

Sky Gilbert (Norwich, 20 december 1952)

 

De Amerikaanse dichter Kenneth Rexroth werd geboren in South Bend (Indiana) op 22 december 1905. Zie ook alle tags voor Kenneth Rexroth op dit blog.

 

Dimanche bleu

Kastanjebloemen vallen
In de lege straat die stinkt
Naar ziekenhuizen en koken.
De radio breekt
Iemands hart ergens
In een vuile slaapkamer.
Niemand luistert.
Tien mijl ver in beide richtingen
Staan de huizen allemaal leeg.
Niemand woont in deze stad.
Buiten de stadsgrenzen
Zijn groene en witte begraafplaatsen.
Niemand ligt in de graven.
Met zeer lange tussenpozen
Proest en sputtert de kapotte gietijzeren
Fontein op de binnenplaats.
In de vuile slaapkamer
Zijn drie jonge hoeren aan het dobbelen.
Met zeer lange tussenpozen
Spreekt een van hen tegen de dobbelstenen.
Verder zwijgen ze.
Nadat alle kastanjebloesem
Is gevallen gaat de gele
Zon onder en schijnen de sterren
Boven de lege stad
En waaien kranten door de straat.

 

Vertaald door Frans Roumen

 

Kenneth Rexroth (22 december 1905 – 6 juni 1982)

 

Zie voor de schrijvers van de 20e december ook mijn blog van 20 december 2021 en ook mijn blog van 20 december 2018 en ook mijn blog van 20 december 2015 deel 2 en eveneens deel 3.